I have been crucified with Christ ...

This reading below from Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest gives me pause every time. It just doesn't get more fundamental and at the same time more important than this. The reference text is from Galatians 2:20.

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To become one with Jesus Christ, a person must be willing not only to give up sin, but also to surrender his whole way of looking at things. Being born again by the Spirit of God means that we must first be willing to let go before we can grasp something else. The first thing we must surrender is all of our pretense or deceit. What our Lord wants us to present to Him is not our goodness, honesty, or our efforts to do better, but real solid sin. Actually, that is all He can take from us. And what He gives us in exchange for our sin is real solid righteousness. But we must surrender all pretense that we are anything, and give up all our claims of even being worthy of God’s consideration.

Once we have done that, the Spirit of God will show us what we need to surrender next. Along each step of this process, we will have to give up our claims to our rights to ourselves. Are we willing to surrender our grasp on all that we possess, our desires, and everything else in our lives? Are we ready to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?

We will suffer a sharp painful disillusionment before we fully surrender. When people really see themselves as the Lord sees them, it is not the terribly offensive sins of the flesh that shock them, but the awful nature of the pride of their own hearts opposing Jesus Christ. When they see themselves in the light of the Lord, the shame, horror, and desperate conviction hit home for them.

If you are faced with the question of whether or not to surrender, make a determination to go on through the crisis, surrendering all that you have and all that you are to Him. And God will then equip you to do all that He requires of you.

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Officially ABD ...

Just got the official results: I passed the comprehensive exams. Now I need to fine tune my proposal and crank out that dissertation. It's too early to write the working title here; I'll share it here when I get closer to finishing. For now, I'm just glad and thankful to get another step out of the way. Sweet!

Back to School

Just quit my job at Samsung Economic Research Institute. After more than a year, I don't have to fight the early morning rush hour crowds to get to work. So very glad to get out of that place and get back to school. Very thankful.

Now I'm free to focus on my dissertation and get that doctoral degree. I see that I'd written a little more than a year ago about having finished my courses and how I didn't want to be ABD for more than 2 years.

I've got one year left ...

Gotta get crankin' ...

Clash

Sarah definitely takes after me ... even some of the bad things. With Sarah, the very fierce and stern tactics of disciplining fail more than 9 of 10 times. I almost wish she didn't take after me. I could see how difficult it was as she struggled to control her temper. As if she wanted to let go and act out violently but knew that she shouldn't. I could immediately see the frustration and stress in her face from the inner struggle and regret of having acted out, and that's what made me so sorry. I know so well how that feels.

Learning to be a gentle model of a parent is hard ...

Finished PhD Courses

Finally finished my courses! Now the comprehensive exam in the Fall, and I'll have just the dissertation and oral defense left. It would take a year at minimum, and some go as long 6 or 7 or never finish. I'm aiming to be ABD for no more than 2 years, if all goes well and according to plan. So very grateful.

First Birthday Card

Today's my birthday and, for the first time, I got a hand-written, -drawn card from Sarah. One side had me with a thumbs-up sign ("아빠최고!"). Drawings of an octopus and whale ("고래와 문어 선물") graced the other side to accompany my image. I'll have to scan this, save it, and upload it here sometime in the future.

I'm not sure what makes me smile more: the warmness of receiving the card or looking at the drawings. Of course it's gotta be the warmness of getting a card from your little girl, right? After all, she's only two-years-old, and how good can it be? Well, you gotta see the drawing of me holding up my thumb. A 27-month-old drew that (with the utmost care), on what she thinks of as nice & fancy stationery.

Scraped Knee

Sarah took her first big fall and received a knee scrape yesterday.  The wound scabbed over nicely this morning, and she should be fine.  But it made me think: how many more of these will I witness over the next 15 to 20 years?  I suppose I'd be one of the luckiest fathers if scabs are the worst things I get to witness.